Today is International Women’s Day. The call this year is #pressforprogress. I pondered what that would mean to me. Where would I like to see progress in a disconnected world?
Growing up, I remember a relative storming to our front door and challenging me. I’d been seen with someone that they had considered to be inappropriate for me. They approached me with a statement that not only shocked me but left me reeling. How could I be related to someone who felt so strongly about people who were not white?
Not only was I shocked, but I was also angry. The person to whom they were referring wasn’t black, but my family member had decided that they were and that meant that they were persona non-gratis.
My values had been crossed, and it didn’t matter who this family member was. I was not standing for such blatant discrimination. Seeing someone only as a label, not as a human.
Growing up, I only ever saw the beauty of someone. It didn’t matter which age, color, race, gender, religion, or culture – I simply saw them.
I experienced us all as a team of humans who were all seeking to connect with each other in whatever way they could. I craved acceptance and connection; I wanted to be seen and heard for who I was and not where I came from.
This was one incident. But like everything in life, one makes two, two makes a million and before long I was flooded with overwhelming and often confusing thoughts and feelings.
Of course, I am not the only person who finds themselves in a bowl of life soup and feeling unable to connect all of the pieces.
Disconnection seeps in slowly, and it can take a hefty dose of awakening for you to start being able to reconnect the parts of you that are crying to become whole.
Today and every day my press for progress is that we witness and celebrate each other as unique but equally connected.
First, we have to become connected to who we are, and then we can spread that joy and love outwards.
Over the years, I’ve found a few things that have helped me, and I hope that they help you too.
What can you do when you find yourself feeling disconnected?
Journaling and writing have a way to reach your soul like no other. It’s easy to do. I have a journal by the side of my bed and a small one I carry in my purse. Depending on how I am feeling, I will either write in it in the evening or the morning or anytime during the day that a flood of ideas come to mind or when I feel the need to tune inward, to pay attention to what’s really going on inside. I close my eyes and focus placing the pen on the paper. I let what needs to be unraveled simply flow. It doesn’t matter if it does not make sense now, it will later.
2. Feeding your soul
Simply feeding your soul is getting in touch with things that bring us joy. How often do we do things for others and forget about our own needs? We must fill ourselves up first so that we can, from a better place, support others. What could you do today that makes you feel loved and full of joy?
3. Get out in nature
What’s not to love about being outside in the fresh air? I adore being outside and being in contact with Mother Nature. Even if you haven’t walked in years, start slowly. Find a place to sit and drink in what is around you. I find I can sort many problems out with a beautiful walk. Nature has a way of enveloping the soul with love and acceptance- something everyone needs and deserves.
4. Talk to your friends
Often when you feel disconnected your friends are the best people to throw their arms around you and give you that much-needed hug. When I think of my friends, I feel blessed that we can talk about our deepest fears as well as share belly laughs at the ridiculousness of life. Reach out and check that your friends are ok, you will be pleased that you did.
5. Say thank you for your blessings
Even in your darkest hour, there is something that is a blessing. I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe in blessings and miracles. Look around at the people who have lifted you, tell them thank you. Look at the trees which exhale life giving oxygen-for that I am thankful. What are the blessings in your life? Look for them, they are there, and say thank you to the blessing or reach out to the higher power that speaks to your soul.
6. Learn to love yourself
Self-hatred is one of the most dreadful things that we can inflict on our bodies and souls. When you start to love yourself, it is like a filter has been removed from your eyes. The more that you implement self-loving techniques the more that life seems to flow in a positive direction. Things that I adore doing are putting post it notes on the fridge and the occasional love letter to me. Just start today. Look in the mirror, and notice your beauty. Tell yourself how much you love you. You may feel silly at first, but after a while, it gets easier. You don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. In fact, I’ve never met a person who was perfect. What if we cast away the goal of perfection, and instead focused on the goal of loving perfectly?
7. Ask for support
I love to give, what about you? Do you also find yourself upset when a friend has struggled and didn’t ask? What about when you needed something did you expect a saviour to leap out and save you? I know I have. However, when I learned to ask for help, I could see the pleasure that others derived from that simple act. Please, do not be alone, reach out and ask. You may be surprised at what comes back and with who you find who is or has struggled with the very thing you are afraid to ask for help with. We aren’t so different in our needs and struggles. Just ask.
These are just 7 simple things to try; I am sure there are many more. Start slowly, and you will begin to see a new you unfurl.
Before you go – ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 how disconnected you feel and where in your life connection is missing?
Enter your text here…
7 ways to get connected in a disconnected world
March 8, 2018